Got Virtue??

Alrighty, so this post will be directed more towards all the ladies out there (sorry, fellas!), but this topic holds a bit of a soft spot to me. Ladies, have you ever just heard something and immediately draw inspiration from it, as if you were meant to voice your two cents about the subject? This happened to me about two weeks ago on Mother's Day. I was sitting in church listening to my pastor preach about how women in today's world should conduct themselves (see Proverbs 31:10-31, 1 Peter 3:3-4) and to take heed to the advice offered to them by older women (see Titus 2:3-6). The deeper my pastor got into his sermon,  the more I started thinking more and more about any other young women that I knew aspiring after these same ideals that I was aspiring after.  There are quite a few I could list and talk about for forever and a day, but three friends of mine in particular I believe represent the "road of the virtuous woman" beautifully:

• Chelsea DeVries,  a 22 year old  Saint Leo University senior graduating in the spring of  2015 & currently residing in Port Richey, FL. *fun fact: she's also a published Young Adult fiction author!
• Chelsea Reynolds, a 22 year senior at Cleveland, Ohio graduating this summer--which is also where she currently resides. *fun fact: She nannies two small children that are both spherical needs & could probably tell anyone about virtually any basketball player or the latest Dateline documentary.
• and the lovely Dayna Scott, a Pennsylvania native currently attending Capital University in Bexley, Ohio where she majors in Public Relations and will graduate in the spring of 2015. *fun fact: she is also one of the founding sisters of the Theta Tau chapter of Alpha Sigma Alpha sorority--which I got to witness and assist with too!

Anywho, I decided to do a Q&A for each of them by asking them six questions so I could gain some perspective about any similarities and any differences among their opinions about the 'virtuous woman' movement. Here's the questions that I asked them along with their individual answers down below: 
*I decided to highlight each person's answers to make it a little easier---Chelsea D., Chelsea R., Dayna

1) Who in your life would you describe as a woman of virtue? Why?

CD: A women of virtue in my life would have to be my mom because she always looks to care for others before herself and she stands strong in her faith, no matter what.

CR:I don’t have one specific person or role model I look at and think “I want to be just like her”. Instead, I take pieces and parts of people I admire and try to fulfill such greatness in my life. My grandmother was a fighter and taught me to be yourself, no matter what anyone has to say about it. My close friend, Ronnie, has always reminded me to see the bright side in every situation and that things can always be worse. I nanny for a woman who has two children that are special needs, but she faces every day with strength and a smile. Those are qualities of people I admire. Those are people I want to emulate.

DS: I would describe my mother as a woman of virtue because she truly is one of the people in this world who would do anything for anyone, and sacrifice for happiness and being comfortable for anyone in her family. She has taught me what compassion means in any light and has shown me how to grow into a confident and poised young woman.

2) What steps are you personally taking to become a woman of virtue?

CD: Personally, I don't want to hurt my relationship with Jesus in any way and believe my body to be a temple. Therefore, I'm waiting to give my first kiss to a guy that deserves it despite what family members and culture says about just giving it away. Besides that, I spend time studying the Bible every week, and I just started praying in the throne room at least once a week.

CR: To me, a relationship with God is important. God is there when no one else is; through the up’s and the down’s, the trials and the triumphs. My faith is the only reason I’ve made it through certain situations. I also think relationships with people are important. I treat everyone I meet the same way- whether it’s the all-star who hits the game-winning shot or the custodian who cleans up the celebratory confetti after the win. What you expel into the world comes back to you. It truly does. I think that no matter how people treat you, you should share kindness and love with them, because often the most hateful people need to feel that the most.

DS: you must love yourself and have some kind of goal or dream in order to be a leader and a woman of virtue because once you have confidence, nothing can stop you. 

3) Why do you believe that there is such a struggle for women in today's world to become women of virtue?

CD:If you listen to most popular music or happen upon popular tv like MTV, you would see that it's not really cool to be willing to wait and not just live in the moment. I know personally I've struggled with wanting to hook-up with a guy before and I had to remind myself that I loved Jesus too much to participate in that. The struggle really becomes finding someone who gets and respects that you are a woman of virtue because there are too many guys nowadays (even in the church) who like to hook-up and don't respect women as treasures. Yet, that is also because a lot of women nowadays don't believe they have any value. Even some guys too. That's why everyone in secular culture looks to sex as the answer but the real answer is Jesus. Once you realize what he did for all of us, and you know how much God loves you, and you honestly believe it from your head to your toes, you will never look back at secular culture as something you should feel pressured to participate in.

CR: I think that the media is a big issue. Negatives get glorified and positives get minimized. For example, if a girl were to take her clothes off and pose for pictures, she would get tons of attention. But if a girl graduates college with a 4.0, it’s often underappreciated. I’ve always personally believed that not everyone can understand greatness, but many understand mediocrity. Just because a lot of people appreciate something, that doesn’t make it valuable.

DS:   ​I think some woman are afraid to stand up and help make the change because they don't want to be affect negatively whether that's media related, losing a job, or having their idea back fire. 

4) What could be some reasons that women define as difficult to become women of virtue?

CD:The only reason that there may be difficulty in becoming a woman of virtue is because God is not enough to that person and the pressure to fit in is greater than God but ladies out there should know, if they trust God and let Him become their everything, God can cause them to fit in with the perfect circle of friends.

CR:I think our surrounding in general pressure us in ways that are uncomfortable. We live in a society where sex sells. But it’s essential to keep in mind that superficial things are only temporary. The same crowd that applauds your success will also applaud your demise. People like a show. It’s important to remember who-and what- truly matters.

DS :I would say some would be their dependent attitude or feeling like its not their place to radiate and take control of a room.

5) How do you maintain yourself when surrounded by other women that may be leading lifestyles that contradict yours greatly?

CD: Even though most girls I know don't understand my choice to be a woman of virtue, I still am kind and friendly to people despite their lifestyle choices because God commands us to love all people; not to condemn all people. We are called to be a channel of his mercy and grace, and love.

CR: I struggle with this a lot because I work with athletes and am often surrounded by beautiful and stunning people. Their looks alone captivate a room. But a lot of times, their personalities don’t. My golden rule is to treat people better than you want to be treated. I believe in leaving everyone in a better condition than you found them in. That’s my core and that will never change. So although I sometimes find myself being mesmerized by the glitter, I remind myself that not everything that glitters is gold. And that we all have different gifts that should be used for the greater good of humanity.

DS: ​I feel embarrassed for them. I want to show them that respecting yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually is the greatest gift you can do for yourself. I am interested in understand their story so if they need someone to talk to i can help be that person. 

6) What advice would you give young women that are striving to become women of virtue?

CD:Although my choices may not be popular, it doesn't mean that my life hasn't been glamorous. My life has become a diamond because I've let God take care of all areas of my life, especially love, and he never disappoints me. Sure, I'm still single but I've got some seriously amazing friends who support me and love me for who I am even if they don't necessarily have the same virtuous standards and that to me is all the love I need right now. My advice to girls out there: wait for your prince by seeking The Prince of Peace. He will let you know when the time is perfect for the happily ever after all while transforming you into a  beautiful virtuous princess. It's honestly so worth it. Just Trust God.

CR: I would tell young women that first and foremost to stay true to yourself. That your character is more important than your reputation. And that no one will ever respect you more than you respect yourself. You have to set the standard for how other people treat you. You have to value yourself and your worth. Not everyone is going to see it, or understand. But your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth. That’s the most important thing to remember. I would also tell young women that it’s okay to make mistakes; mistakes help us grow. If you make a bad decision, don’t beat yourself up over it. Learn from it, and move on. Finally, that everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about, and kindness is the greatest gift you can give the world.

DS: I would say never be afraid of who you are and remember that its good to leave some mystery inside. 

After reading through each girl's answers, I noticed a few common threads among them: the negative portrayals in the media, some sort of spiritual basis and maintaining a secure self identity. Each of these, I believe, share an equal role in how women in today's world define how they behave, that clothes they wear, the friendships they develop with others and how they ultimately treat themselves. Doing this has also shown me how much the advice of older women is often unfortunately devalued and disregarded. Too many times have I seen the fruition of  one of two things pertaining to women: 

1) that women need to be 'independent' and learn how to stand on their one two feet at all costs, taking no mess from anybody & shuts down anyone that attempts to challenge her grind;
or 2) that women are designed to be domesticated trophy glamour girls and are only to perform as such excellently at all costs, pleasing her man's desires at the drop of a hat.

So which category does the 'virtuous woman' fall in??? Based on the book of Proverbs, she is both. She can provide for her family& outsiders of her family with only the very best (Proverbs 31:15, 21, 27-29), able to honor her husband with ease (Proverbs 31: 11-12), uses her words to inspire rather than tear down others (Proverbs 31: 26), has the utmost confidence that her next move will bring about more good than bad (Proverbs 31: 25)  and is able to command her respect by the works she has completed (Proverbs 31:30-31). She is NOT a doormat, letting others walk all over her without even a bit of a fight but is also NOT one to create havoc when the slightest bit of critique or blemish comes about in her life from someone outside of her lifestyle.  She does not have to force someone to pay attention to her because her great works do all the talking for her.  What woman REALLY wants to spend the rest of her life proving to everybody else that she's good enough, that's she's worthy of attention for more than just her tiny waist & large chest or how many babies she can pop out in a year's time?? I certainly do not. 

Before I go, I'd like to thank each of these lovely ladies for participating in this blog for me :) I hope that this post will give the ladies out there that extra oomph to lay down the ideal of ultra submission or ultra independence and take up the ideal of being respected for maintaining her standards and using her skills to spread that to others. Over and out!

By the way, you can follow these lovely ladies on Twitter, if you'd like :)
--Chelsea D. : @ChelseaDeVries
--Chelsea R. : @tilwegetthere
--Dayna : @dayduhh11