#TheSW30: Day 6 & 7.

 Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”.

• I think that  it's true, to some degree. There are many that I know who are head over heels , wrecklessly in love with their partner, while others tune into their inner Mary J. Blige being "just fine" by themselves. In all honesty, i think this quote should be changed. Instead of wants, it should be NEEDS. Why? Because love is not all about getting what you want or giving someone else what they want; it's about looking at what you need from the experience. Wants are fairweather and can change in a instant, while needs are more concrete.Think about it : if you had to choose between buying that new Betsey Johnson purse at Marshalls you've been eyeballing for the past 5 months or paying your water bill , you would pick water over Betsey any given day. Why? Because you NEED water way more (from cooking to bathing/showering to drinking). You would be thinking, "Sorry Betsey! You're gonna have to wait your turn just a little longer!" Now, I'm not condoning that a woman needs to stay in a relationship where her well-being is at great risk. However, my philosophy is that there's a silver lining to every storm cloud. So as your other half may be spitting out nasty insults about your hair color or your weight or how stupid you are for going back to school for that degree (baffled that YOU thought you could make it without them around), that little voice could be telling you what you do need from this: to get out, get wiser and get to rebuilding you back up. For some people, it may take tragedy for them to open their eyes to how temporary wants really are and how needs , 9 times out of 10, always seems to trump wants on the priority list. So, the next time you get a crush on a cute guy that seemed promising but ends up burning out, remember this: He may have looked like what you wanted, but might not have possessed what your heart needed.

Where You Are in Your Life vs. Where You Thought You Would Be

• I could seriously go on for forever and a day on this topic! But, I'll try my best to keep it short :) Hmm, when I think about where I thought I would be now with my then 14-year old brain: I thought I was going to be in my last year of college one step closer to being a registered nurse, in an amazing relationship, awesome friends , fearless towards life and a sassy style swagger that the late Gianni Versace would be envious of. The reality of these thoughts are somewhat true; I am currently a college senior in the nursing program and have really wonderful friends that I love dearly (a few from my childhood). As far as my Prince charming, LOC (level of confidence) and style status, I'm not so fulfilled in those areas. I've been single for about a year, still cringe a little when people call me 'pretty' or 'beautiful' or 'gorgeous' , don't usually enjoy going shopping for girly clothes/wearing makeup/looking in mirrors and often choose a t-shirt and sweats over blouses and jeans as my OOTD. If one just went by these standards to measure my life success, I'd say I'm about halfway there. However, there are some little unexpected occurrences that fall in the I'm proud of this" category: I graduated with both my high school diploma and associate's degree at the tender age of 18, I chose to forgo chemical hair relaxers and opted for rocking my very curly mop called Mandela (yes, my hair has a name. She's extremely sassy lol), pioneered a church youth group program where the only person of color was yours truly, spoke to parents of young kids about why post secondary education is an amazing opportunity, rediscovered my love for writing and met some of the most amazing people & kids this past summer at a church camp. No, I don't have everything I thought I would at this point in life, but I do know that I gained so much within the seven years that no man or no cute outfit could ever replace or take away from me. At this point, I'm not necessarily super satisfied nor super ashamed of who I am. I'm learning that in order for me to grow up and grow into who I am meant to be, I have to embrace change for what it is opposed to running from it or fighting tooth and nail. So, readers, just pray for me to keep learning, to be open to unexpectedness  to look in a mirror and be able to say "I appreciate where I was, love who I am, and dream of fulfilling who I'm destined to be".