#TheSW30: Day 2--New & Improved
Describe a moment or a day when being single really sucked.
Alrighty, as many people that know me are aware of this already, I pretty much am not a big fan of being single. I feel like over the years, it's gotten progressively worse as I seen people I attended shool with or grown up either getting engaged, tying the knot, becoming parents or some combo of those---sometimes, even all three. I remember one day, about a few weeks ago, where I was off from work and decided to be on Facebook simply because I was bored....bad idea. I literally saw at least six people I knew in some way display the "in a relationship with________", "got engaged to________" or "married_____________" status changes.
After about the third one, my happiness had soon become initial sadness and gradually transformed into anger. Pure, fiery, "I'm gonna punch five windows in" anger. At first, it was directed at those people, but as more time went on, the more the anger had sifted from them to me. By the end of the night, I was fuming at myself, screaming internally how big of an idiot I was for being 22, yet an old maid on the inside. Honestly, I had had enough of this. I was throwing insults left, right , circular, any direction humanly possible....along with every curse word imaginable. I was demolishing my entire being like the planes that crashed into the Twin Towers on 9/11. I couldn't even begin to understand why I could just not seem to just find a decent person that I could fall in love with and build something solid with. I wanted to finally have a person who would cuddle with me when I was cold, or send me flowers on a random Tuesday simply because I was on his mind heavy, or plan out a romantic date at a bookstore completed with a Chipotle nightcap. In my mind in that moment, I felt as if I was never destined to fulfill those desires.
Alrighty, as many people that know me are aware of this already, I pretty much am not a big fan of being single. I feel like over the years, it's gotten progressively worse as I seen people I attended shool with or grown up either getting engaged, tying the knot, becoming parents or some combo of those---sometimes, even all three. I remember one day, about a few weeks ago, where I was off from work and decided to be on Facebook simply because I was bored....bad idea. I literally saw at least six people I knew in some way display the "in a relationship with________", "got engaged to________" or "married_____________" status changes.
After about the third one, my happiness had soon become initial sadness and gradually transformed into anger. Pure, fiery, "I'm gonna punch five windows in" anger. At first, it was directed at those people, but as more time went on, the more the anger had sifted from them to me. By the end of the night, I was fuming at myself, screaming internally how big of an idiot I was for being 22, yet an old maid on the inside. Honestly, I had had enough of this. I was throwing insults left, right , circular, any direction humanly possible....along with every curse word imaginable. I was demolishing my entire being like the planes that crashed into the Twin Towers on 9/11. I couldn't even begin to understand why I could just not seem to just find a decent person that I could fall in love with and build something solid with. I wanted to finally have a person who would cuddle with me when I was cold, or send me flowers on a random Tuesday simply because I was on his mind heavy, or plan out a romantic date at a bookstore completed with a Chipotle nightcap. In my mind in that moment, I felt as if I was never destined to fulfill those desires.
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